Self Discovery with Kurt Cobain

Kurt is the latest dream mirror

Dream Fugue: Smells like Opportunity

November 19, 2023

At a dive bar music venue, I noticed Dave Grohl and Kurt Cobain and a non-Krist Novoselic-bass player setting up for a show.  

The non-Krist Novoselic-bass player couldn’t perform for some reason, so he non-chalantly asked me to sit in with Nirvana. 

This dream scenario seemed to be taking place before Nirvana’s global explosion - probably around 1989. 

(Nirvana nerds: yes, I realize Dave Grohl didn’t join Nirvana until 1990. Also, I know Krist Novoselik was in Nirvana before Dave Grohl.
Tell it to my dream….)

Little twist - I’m “2023 me” not “1989 me.“ As someone that loves Nirvana and played in bands for decades, I’ve learned many of their songs. I immediately thought to myself, “My god. I’ll probably know most of their setlist.”

[Real Life Influence - I heard the awkward “new” Beatles song the night before this dream.]

I felt like I was in Yesterday, that movie where everyone forgets the Beatles but one guy.  

A movie about one guy knowing all the Nirvana songs would be called…”On a Plain?” “Drain You?”

I told my partner Monty “holy shit look at Dave Grohl, he’s so young!” 

[Real Life Influence: I had just seen a video of a wicked young Dave playing a Nirvana show]

It was almost like a lucid dream. I didn’t quite know I was dreaming, but a list of weird existential questions followed:

• What does this mean? Am I time traveling?

• Do they know their own songs?

• If I play with them, will it change how they write the songs they haven’t written yet?

• Should I do the Smells Like Teen Spirit riff?

• Am I gonna ruin Nirvana if I do this in some butterfly effect kind of way?

None of this mattered, I obviously had to do it.

I walked to the stage where Dave was setting up his drums. Kurt was moving his amp.

90s “wall of amps” style

More neurosis kicked in as I approached Kurt. He was crouched on the floor now tinkering with his guitar and fuzz pedals.

“Hey…(to myself: “don’t say Kurt like you know him”)…man, how do you want me to play bass? Like all…riffy? Melodic like Paul McCartney? Fuzzy? Or straight and simple…like root notes?”

Without looking up, “simple, stay on the downbeats.”

(Whoa, he talked to me!)

I panicked because in the dream I didn’t know what a downbeat was, but I feigned understanding, “sure, cool.” I added another essential caveat, “sorry I look so old by the way, I’ll be good, I promise”

Just then the non-KN-bass player tapped my shoulder to interrupt, “actually sorry, we thought about it and we want her” pointing to Monty who was looking particularly stylish (as she does).

I’d put her in Nirvana too

Nirvana was grunge, you’re supposed to look schlubby, but the Dream-Kurt-Cobain-heart wants what the Dream-Kurt-Cobain-heart wants. Monty accepted, which is funny because as far as I know she’s never played bass. 

I protested and pleaded my case - it should be me…shouldn’t it? I play bass. Shit, maybe it shouldn’t? As I whined, I noticed my instrument cables went missing. Fortunately, this particular venue was connected to a music store. I ran off, bought two cables and a tuner, and ran back. 

When I returned the show was already over. I lost my opportunity to play in Nirvana. 

No idea how Monty did on bass.

Post Dream Fugue Analysis

This dream was like a low-def mirror. So much of these feelings were familiar.

I was so hesitant to seize an opportunity that I literally paused the dream to consider if maybe I was changing the course of history by saying yes - talk about delusions of grandeur.

Then I starting overthinking (shocker) and told Kurt Cobain I was too old for the gig.

And once they chose Monty, even in the retelling of this dream fugue, I minimized myself by admitting that she’s better for the job because she’s cooler than me (this is true though).

In a Me vs. Myself battle I will always lose.

Do you do this?

Fugues comes from an obsessive curiosity. Every time I have a dream like this or a particularly noticeable mental experience, I wonder what resonates for people and what differs.

So the following isn’t just for the sake of obnoxious social media engagement. (If I wanted to do that I’d ask you some pandering question like “what’s your favorite Nirvana song.” I’d never!)

I could look up the studies, but curious among my friends…

If you answered yes, how do you overcome it? Would you mind sharing in the comments?

(And while you’re at it, might as well share your favorite Nirvana song.)

Coming soon…

There are a couple new Fugues episodes coming out about dreams.

The next one explores, among other things, why celebrities show up in our dreams. And while Kurt and Dave don’t show, Brian Cox is a key character.

Subscribe to the podcast to be notified of the next episode once it becomes available!